Jyestha

Sonakshi closed the door behind him, climbed over the bed and crossed her legs.

She was tired of trying to get Saathvik to talk to her. He would come home, well, room actually, and spread out a dozen different maps all over his bed. Then he would study them, although Sonakshi felt like he was eyeing her the whole time, watching her shift uncomfortably on her bed and clearing her throat a million different ways to get his attention. But that might just have been her imagination.

Surely, he cared enough to leave her notes on the coffee table, about where he was going in the mornings when she was still asleep. Even that day, he’d let her know that he would be at a colleague’s house in the country side, but that was quite all. Their talking these days was only through notes, although Sonakshi felt ridiculous leaving notes to someone who probably didn’t even read them. But she still put so much thought and sincerity into every note she ever wrote to him.

Saathvik was still reading maps. She wondered what sort of a sane person reads maps before going to bed. She thought it was because the bookshelf was on her side of the room, and that reading maps was a metaphor for Get the book rack to my side or get the hell out. She quickly dismissed the thought though and decided to contemplate over it later when she wasn’t too busy clearing her throat.

“What?” he barked.

Okay, she thought, we’re making progress.

“That was a question. What do you want?”

To her, that didn’t sound like a question but rather a subtle way of telling her to stop trying. He probably would go back to reading maps if she actually spoke, and that would be nothing short of embarrassing.

“I’m tired. I’m going to bed. You only have a minute.”

That was enough to get her started.

“Saathvik, I-”

“You’re pregnant?”

“What? No! Why would you-”

“Then it isn’t relevant to me.”

“And you just assumed me being pregnant would be relevant to you.”

The words just plunged out of her mouth before she could stop them. She almost thought she saw shock in Saathvik’s eyes, but she blinked and it was gone.

“We’re done then. Remember to lock the front door.”

She wanted to yell that that’s what she’d been doing every single night when he went to bed early, leaving her watching him through the darkness and hoping that someday, things would go back to where it had been.

But she didn’t. Because he probably- no- most certainly, didn’t care.

“Saathvik, listen to me just this once.”

“Get over with it already.”

“I can’t keep paying your bills. I need to send money home. To India.”

This was, she knew, important to him as much as it was to her. He nodded rapidly and turned away.

“There’s something else too…”

Saathvik refused to budge but she spoke anyway.

“I’m leaving.”

Saathvik sprang from the bed so fiercely, she jerked backwards in surprise. He pushed his head forward questioningly and for a moment, Sonakshi thought he looked like a really small dinosaur.

“I’m moving out Saathvik. I’m going to New York.”

“Excuse me?”

“I just wanted to tell you that. You can go to sleep now.”

They didn’t speak for the rest of the night. But this time, it was Saathvik who lay awake in the darkness watching his Sona’s face glow with relief.

The next day, like any other day, Sonakshi slid out of her bed and zombie-walked to the coffee table. This time, he hadn’t left her any information of his whereabouts.

“You actually read those notes, huh?”

She gasped a little too much and placed her hand on top of her head as she turned around to face him.

“What are you doing here?” she mumbled.

“Don’t go.”

“I have to. Don’t stop me. Work would be so much better there.”

“You’re just running away.”

“From what, Saathvik? From hurt? From heartache? From- from- torture?”

“You know that guy you’ve been trying to kill for three years now but couldn’t?”

Sonakshi raised a shivering eyebrow.

“You’re running away from that guy. “

47 thoughts on “Jyestha

          1. Jyeshta also means elder — and i think Alakshmi is elder to Goddess Laksmi….still thinking about your story — can i guess and ask you? Or will that be cheating? 😉

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          2. My guess — and it’s ok if its totally off! 🙂 They are both alakshyam to each other – She thinks he does not care about her – looks at maps at night. He thinks – She still cares about the other guy….but in reality they both care for each other…….so they could live happily ever after – if they dropped alakshmi and embraced lakshmi –opened their hearts to each other in the abundance of love. 🙂 Tell me what you think…..i am curious. 🙂

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          3. I LOVED your interpretation ❤ although the guy she's been trying to kill is her roommate, and he just let her know that he knows her intentions to kill him and tells her not to run away from her failure to do so. The story (although I use that word quite loosely) initially seems like she's the good one and he's the bad one, but in the end we know what the situation really is. She's Alakshmi, but he knows how to keep her alakshyam (is that a word?) away while still keeping her with him.

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          4. Wow! i would have never guessed this 🙂 i never thought they were “just” roommates – i thought they were married or bf-gf. 🙂 i am a hopeless romantic – and was planning for their “happily ever after” 🙂 thanks for sharing and talking to me. 🙂

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          5. yey! yey! He says, “don’t go. you couldn’t kill him for the last three years.” She says, “I killed him the moment i set my eyes on you!” And then….they both laughed at their alakshyam thoughts towards each other and looked the maps together – to plan a vacation! 🙂

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          1. Not really. I just get interested in something all of a sudden and read about it. While studying old texts, understanding the movement of planets and stars is important to give the stories and poems context.
            I don’t believe in astrology myself, at least not in the same way that most people do.. My grandfather was really into astrology though.

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          2. That’s interesting. My mom’s into astrology and I think I believe in astrology although I don’t see myself studying it haha 😀 I have to say I love how astrology, mythology and science are connected in the strangest way.

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          3. Yup, in ways we can’t yet understand today. I believe Nature moves in cycles. The movement of stars and planets influence those cycles which in turn affects us. The sun, the moon, etc. definitely have an influence on planet Earth. Things like change in monsoonal patterns, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, which in turn affect humanity. That’s the way I look at astrology. Not in terms of a person’s temperament or worldly success. I can’t say if I’m right or wrong yet, but that’s the way I see it now.

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      1. Just I am drafting it… I will post , post lunch 🙂 ippa thaane inspire aanen…intha mathiri nerya irukku..ippa thaan elutha htonuthu..ithuvara poetry mattum thaan eluthitu irunthen

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          1. super super… you know what? ennoda team la oru Sound irukanga… naan shock aakiten ithu namma Sound a nu hahaha pinna full name paathu ..no shes notnu nenachiten

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